Stop Fighting Over What Family to Spend the Holidays With

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This last weekend we got to spend time with my wonderful in-laws in Prescott Valley, Arizona. It was beautiful, peaceful, and most of all relaxing! Although, originally that was not the plan. It is hard juggling two families, especially when they are all scattered between 4 different states. Dylan’s parents are in Arizona while his siblings are in California. Then we have my parents in Texas and we’re obviously in Nevada. As you can imagine, this is a lot juggling.

First off, I am the first person in my family to get married, Dylan is the 3rd with over 10 years under their belt by the time we got married. As you can imagine, my parents had a little adjusting to do. When we first got married, it was a battle, let me tell you. Both of us wanted to see our families. Granted we were in school, so it was few and far between visits because we were in Idaho. Eventually, we came to the decision that every other holiday we would visit the other’s family. As time went on, life became more difficult and we began “adulting” it wasn’t as easy as every other holiday. Christmas will literally just be Dylan and I this year. As time went on and we began to learn, we realized it wasn’t a matter of who’s family we were visiting, but that we visited them. The likely hood of parents giving you a bit of pressure is very high, and though it may be hard because you don’t want to make them sad or upset, it is okay to let them know you won’t be able to, or that you don’t have the time, means or whatever it is happening. Over the last year, we have had to tell both of our families we couldn’t visit them a number of times, and that’s okay:

1. It is not worth fighting and hurting your relationship/marriage over family. Remember, you are your own family now.

2. There will always be another time, don’t let the here and now make your decisions, help them understand and comfort them by letting them know you will visit eventually!

Just remember to stop fighting over family and who to visit and when, take the time to think about it, if you have seen one family multiple times and not the other, you probably should switch it up, or one holiday here and the other holiday there. Just don’t fight because I have seen relationships be DESTROYED due to this.

Now, all that being said, this last week for Thanksgiving was wonderful. Dylan’s family built a beautiful house around open land and beautiful mountains with a lot of green (which we have been missing), wildlife, hiking, and trails. Thursday we spent the whole day relaxing, making appetizers, preparing the turkey and watching movies. Dylan and his dad went on a motorcycle trip. I wasn’t thrilled but I guess Dylan has ridden them since he was young, so it was fine (he is still alive).

Friday we went hiking, shooting, made delicious tinfoil dinners, played with the dogs and, four-wheeling and rode more motorcycles. One of the big things we love to do when we visit Dylan’s family is going outdoors. Vegas is so fun with a lot of shows, food and things like that, but we need the green, and there is plenty of it there. Here all we have are rocks, awkward cold, and a scorching summer! Saturday we visited a shrine that depicted Christs final moments leading up to his crucifixion. It was inside a beautiful mountain with beautiful artwork! It was a peaceful and amazing moment. Being a Latter-Day Saint, one thing I am always trying to do is improve on myself.

Overall, it was an amazing weekend. I am a little sad Christmas will just be Dylan and me, but it will bring us closer and have that time to just relax us two together. How did you overcome family difficulties if you had them? Let time pass by? A certain technique? Let me know, I love learning new things!

4 thoughts on “Stop Fighting Over What Family to Spend the Holidays With

  1. So many YEARS AND HOLIDAYS wasted on the fighting that we did over whose family we were trying to be with! I wish I would have learned earlier I want was really important and it is your family unit that you’ve created and when children come life changes a little more talk it over now figure it out, Both need to be respectful kind And considerate to the others wants desires and feelings, it’s so important but be open to circumstances changing especially when children come and remember it’s not worth the fight Don’t both be so hardheaded and unbending that you literally begin to dread all holiday .


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